How she fell in love…

Have you ever dreamed of falling endlessly from a cliff or from the top of a building? If yes, then you might remember how this fall tugged strongly at your heart and you would suddenly wake up in the middle of the night feeling disoriented and horrified. That something from our unconscious could affect our emotions and feelings without our will is not novel. But most of the times, we choose to ignore these voices from our unconscious.

In a world full of billions of people, most of us go around a lot, trying to find that special someone. Why? Because popular media and notions have formed this idea of that perfect prince charming for each girl who is going to fall in love with us when we dress sexy, flirt confidently and paint our faces efficiently with make up to hide each and every blemish that a normal person might have. And where will you find this proper someone? This perfect guy for you?

Perhaps in a discotheque? Perhaps in a wedding? In college, in the seat right next to you or in school, that high school sweetheart, who had a crush on you since forever? On tinder or on a matrimonial site? On a blind date setup by a friend or on a trip to a strange land? There could be various ways that you might meet that one guy, who makes your heart flutter and feel butterflies in your stomach. And that feeling of falling in love for someone is magical. Little by little, during the process of meeting first time, chatting on text messages, talking on phone calls, you develop an attachment for someone who becomes your habit. A habit that you are too lazy to ever let go of. Because, if God forbids, you ever have to take that decision, it brings a lot of chaos and turmoil for you in your mind as well as in your life.

I have had all those. I have had a terrible crush on a guy from school who had a crush on me but was never brave enough to confess. I tried to woo my first love from college for four whole years, all the while running after him to notice me. I flirted with my senior on facebook, with whom I got into a long distance relationship, only because he was the first guy ever who showed a romantic interest in me. I even made my first love from college fall in love with me, after five years out of college. I dated another guy while being in a vulnerable situation and feeling too lonely in a foreign land. And mind it, each and every one of these guys was a very nice person.

So how did I fall in love with my one and true soulmate? I didn’t consciously go out on a romantic date with him! I didn’t meet him through a matrimonial site, trying to be the best version of myself! I didn’t flirt with him, seeing what an attractive person he is!

I didn’t put on my best dresses to make him feel attracted towards me. I didn’t think and calculate how he has a good career and is good looking and of a good age to be a life-partner who will provide me social and financial security. I didn’t consider or even think of wooing him because that’s what we are supposed to do, to find love. Pretending to be your best self-consciously, to make somebody love you, is not the way to go. Something novel happened with me that had never happened before. Something that doesn’t happen quite frequently and for everybody. This was something that gave rise to a feeling, which tugs at your heart powerfully. Something you had always been searching for, but you never knew.

To be continued…